{"title":"Beauty \u0026 the Tea","description":"\u003cp\u003eNot the mythic “tale as old as time,” but rather its fractured mirror refracted through the cracked glaze of contemporary discourse. In this series, the porcelain vessels of childhood enchantment no longer serenade, instead, they seethe. Their gilded lips drip not with honeyed lullabies but with irony, side-eye, and the caffeinated cadence of digital vernacular. Each utterance becomes a kintsugi of nostalgia and audacity, where fractured fairytales are sutured with gold leaf sarcasm and Wi-Fi static. What was once a lullaby to innocence now resounds as a group-chat chorus, equal parts glitter, gossip, and existential meme. Beauty and the Tea does not merely invite one to sip. It insists upon steeping in the dissonance, until fantasy and farce blur into the same luminous brew.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"clocking-the-spill-tote-bag","title":"Clocking the Spill - Tote Bag","description":"In this gleefully unhinged tableau, the enchanted dishware of childhood mythos abandons their servile charm and reemerge as heralds of sass and spectacle. Against a celestial backdrop of kitsch stars and neon incantations, Clocking the Spill collapses fairytale nostalgia into the lexicon of millennial wit and Gen Z audacity. It is less a tea party than a cosmic drag performance in porcelain, where every pour is a read and every sip, a revelation.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSay goodbye to plastic, and bag your goodies in this organic cotton tote bag. There’s more than enough room for groceries, books, and anything in between.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% certified organic cotton 3\/1 twill\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight: 8 oz\/yd² (272 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dimensions: 16″ × 14 ½″ × 5″ (40.6 cm × 35.6 cm × 12.7 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight limit: 30 lbs (13.6 kg)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 1″ (2.5 cm) wide dual straps, 24.5″ (62.2 cm) length\u003cbr\u003e\n• Open main compartment\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from India","brand":"Fauxpamine","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47224421449967,"sku":"5945168_10457","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0765\/8818\/7887\/files\/eco-tote-bag-black-front-69258af1def51.jpg?v=1764070772"},{"product_id":"soooo-i-was-today-years-old-when-i-found-out-tote-bag","title":"Soooo I was today years old when I found out . . . - Tote Bag","description":"That moment when your childhood ends in a TikTok comment thread. Featuring a sassy Chip mid-epiphany, this piece captures the dopamine crash of realizing you’ve been wrong your entire life, but cute about it.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSay goodbye to plastic, and bag your goodies in this organic cotton tote bag. There’s more than enough room for groceries, books, and anything in between.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% certified organic cotton 3\/1 twill\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight: 8 oz\/yd² (272 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dimensions: 16″ × 14 ½″ × 5″ (40.6 cm × 35.6 cm × 12.7 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight limit: 30 lbs (13.6 kg)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 1″ (2.5 cm) wide dual straps, 24.5″ (62.2 cm) length\u003cbr\u003e\n• Open main compartment\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from India","brand":"Fauxpamine","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47224422301935,"sku":"7795548_10457","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0765\/8818\/7887\/files\/eco-tote-bag-black-front-69258b200fcf6.jpg?v=1764068146"},{"product_id":"wanna-see-the-receipts-tote-bag","title":"Wanna see the receipts? - Tote Bag","description":"Two words: receipts pulled. This gold-kintsugi-glazed duo is here to remind you that forgiveness is divine, but screenshotting is forever. The broken pieces have been glued back together with spite.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSay goodbye to plastic, and bag your goodies in this organic cotton tote bag. There’s more than enough room for groceries, books, and anything in between.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% certified organic cotton 3\/1 twill\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight: 8 oz\/yd² (272 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dimensions: 16″ × 14 ½″ × 5″ (40.6 cm × 35.6 cm × 12.7 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight limit: 30 lbs (13.6 kg)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 1″ (2.5 cm) wide dual straps, 24.5″ (62.2 cm) length\u003cbr\u003e\n• Open main compartment\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from India","brand":"Fauxpamine","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47224423252207,"sku":"3720708_10457","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0765\/8818\/7887\/files\/eco-tote-bag-black-front-69258b583dd42.jpg?v=1764068201"},{"product_id":"chile-the-way-this-is-sending-me-right-now-tote-bag","title":"Chile. The way this is sending me right now - Tote Bag","description":"Mrs. Potts is done. The sparkle overlay glimmers like your group chat mid-scandal, while Chip’s stunned expression screams “emotional support beverage.” If you know, you know.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSay goodbye to plastic, and bag your goodies in this organic cotton tote bag. There’s more than enough room for groceries, books, and anything in between.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% certified organic cotton 3\/1 twill\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight: 8 oz\/yd² (272 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dimensions: 16″ × 14 ½″ × 5″ (40.6 cm × 35.6 cm × 12.7 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight limit: 30 lbs (13.6 kg)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 1″ (2.5 cm) wide dual straps, 24.5″ (62.2 cm) length\u003cbr\u003e\n• Open main compartment\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from India","brand":"Fauxpamine","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47224424104175,"sku":"7630766_10457","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0765\/8818\/7887\/files\/eco-tote-bag-black-front-69258b895eaf8.jpg?v=1764068251"},{"product_id":"awww-yeah-sis-he-a-dusty-tote-bag","title":"Awww yeah sis, he a dusty - Tote Bag","description":"Lumière and the gang finally stop pretending your situationship was “mysterious.” This technicolor takedown is the anthem for anyone who's ever had to sage a room after letting the wrong man in.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSay goodbye to plastic, and bag your goodies in this organic cotton tote bag. There’s more than enough room for groceries, books, and anything in between.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% certified organic cotton 3\/1 twill\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight: 8 oz\/yd² (272 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dimensions: 16″ × 14 ½″ × 5″ (40.6 cm × 35.6 cm × 12.7 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight limit: 30 lbs (13.6 kg)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 1″ (2.5 cm) wide dual straps, 24.5″ (62.2 cm) length\u003cbr\u003e\n• Open main compartment\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from India","brand":"Fauxpamine","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47224426758383,"sku":"3639287_10457","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0765\/8818\/7887\/files\/eco-tote-bag-black-front-69258bbecad9c.jpg?v=1764068303"},{"product_id":"remembered-adjacent-sticker-1","title":"Clocking the Spill - Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eIn this gleefully unhinged tableau, the enchanted dishware of childhood mythos abandons their servile charm and reemerge as heralds of sass and spectacle. Against a celestial backdrop of kitsch stars and neon incantations, Clocking the Spill collapses fairytale nostalgia into the lexicon of millennial wit and Gen Z audacity. 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This gold-kintsugi-glazed duo is here to remind you that forgiveness is divine, but screenshotting is forever. 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