{"product_id":"preemptive-eulogy-in-three-acts-dance-despair-devotion-tote-bag","title":"Preemptive Eulogy in Three Acts (Dance, Despair, Devotion) - Tote Bag","description":"Time pirouettes on parquet in this anticipatory dirge to America’s last wholesome archetype. Van Dyke, barefoot and immortal, becomes an unholy relic of optimism in an age hemorrhaging it. The line between earnest grief and ironic militancy collapses—his death is not a possibility, but a sociocultural collapse event. The pentagram scrawled beneath the “riot” seals the blood pact between nostalgia and madness.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSay goodbye to plastic, and bag your goodies in this organic cotton tote bag. There’s more than enough room for groceries, books, and anything in between.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% certified organic cotton 3\/1 twill\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight: 8 oz\/yd² (272 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dimensions: 16″ × 14 ½″ × 5″ (40.6 cm × 35.6 cm × 12.7 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight limit: 30 lbs (13.6 kg)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 1″ (2.5 cm) wide dual straps, 24.5″ (62.2 cm) length\u003cbr\u003e\n• Open main compartment\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from India","brand":"Fauxpamine","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47219658785007,"sku":"6953667_10457","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0765\/8818\/7887\/files\/eco-tote-bag-black-front-6922e2b32d0a5.jpg?v=1763893959","url":"https:\/\/shop.fauxpamine.com\/products\/preemptive-eulogy-in-three-acts-dance-despair-devotion-tote-bag","provider":"Fauxpamine","version":"1.0","type":"link"}